(no subject)

[lewa]

god, I suck ASS at interacting with people on here. I also suck ass at posting. I think I might... consider my journal... to be... umm. on a break??? 'cause... ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh... eh. I just... ehhhhhhhhhhhh... idk. the enthusiasm has gone down as I've been too depressed irl to do shit for a couple of weeks. literally nothing for me to post about aside from being sad. sad I don't know how to get someone to contact me so I can get a commission from them. someone on here, after I posted to holiday wishes, contacted me and added me on Discord, only to never say a word to me otherwise. are they busy? did they decided they weren't interested? fuck if I know, but keeping me waiting for 3 weeks for a response leaves a bad taste in my mouth, so never mind.
sad because I can't make any new close friends. sad because my anxiety and rejection sensitive dysphoria hold me back. I'm so fucking tired, my dudes. shit sucks.
I'm not disappearing by any means, the biggest reason I wanna keep an account tho, is so I can post icons. lmfao I have a community for that.

uh. idk. that's it for a while, pals. feel free to unsub from me if you want to. I unsubbed from everyone because I'm just... eh. I'm sorry. everyone I've added is fine, but I'm just not bothered to interact at all. and then I feel guilty and... blah. may as well remove the obligation from myself for the time being.